Long Nights, Impossible Odds
by punkasaurusjess
Summary: One Shot   Zexiri  While flipping through some old books, Zexion comes to the conclusion that he's not exactly "happy" with his current situation and decides to do something about it.


**A/N: **This is pretty much just... Zexion thinking. Just a nice little one-shot I wrote during a VERY long running RP (it's been going on and off between my main partner and I since...Oh, 2009 or so? Well, anyway, here it is - there are some quotations sprinkled throughout this as well... Enjoy...**_  
><em>**

**_Love_**  
><em>(noun, verb):<em>

_1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for someone._

His eyes lingered on the page.. It was a regular hobby of his to simply flip through the dictionary at times (it helped him clear his head and relax to look over the words, their meanings and language of origin) but tonight it seemed constantly to open to words he had no interest in reading. He flipped through the pages again.

**_Lust  
><em>**_(noun)_

_1. Intense sexual desire or appetite._

He wrinkled his nose slightly. This was ridiculous. With a slight hint of irritation, he flipped back...

**_Impossible_**  
><em>(adjective)<em>

_1. Not possible; unable to be, exist or happen._

With somewhat undue violence, Zexion slammed the dictionary shut, a muscle in his jaw twitching slightly with a ghost of anger and frustration. Whatever force controlled the universe seemed to be mocking him. He sighed, picking the heavy book up off the table and carried it back to its place on a shelf - one of hundreds that surrounded him. A thick silence lay over the library, the kind of silence that seemed to hiss and buzz - impossibly loud to make up for the total lack of noise. Looking over the titles, Zexion's eye was caught by faded lettering on a battered paperback.

_The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet.  
><em>

Zexion nearly laughed outloud - had - was it the universe or his subconcious, he wondered, staring at the book as it sat nestled in its spot on the took it in his hands, looking at the cover. It was dog-eared and had obviously been read many times... Yes, he knew the play. He didn't even need to look at the yellowed pages to hear the lines opening lines in his head; _Two households both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean... _

He shook his head, placing it back in the empty hollow where it had once lain. This was just stupid - drawing paralells between fiction and reality as he was doing. There were no paralells to this situation (though, he could already name the cast of characters). Naturally, she would be Juliet. Sora? He would be Paris... And...

This time, Zexion really did laugh out loud, though it was a cold, bitter laugh. As if he could call himself "Romeo"... He could draw no real parallels between himself and the character - save that they were both hopelessly in love with someone who ought to be their enemy... Though Romeo had never known Juliet before he fell in love with her. They had not been childhood friends torn asunder by circumstances beyond their control without even a chance to say goodbye.

Of course, he couldn't really call it "love" this pale shadow of emotion - though he was sure that would be the feeling if he possessed the ability to feel. Then again, he wondered if it was only lust that mixed with the memories of puppy-love between two children... All he knew was that when she was absent, a heaviness descended upon him and his thoughts were a tangled mess. Zexion started to walk from the library, leaving the clusters of books behind him as he made his way down the barren gray hall. The castle was empty, save for a few Dusks that crept by. It was obviously late.

The emptiness of the castle only seemed to enhance the hollow sense of sadness that he felt, seeming to reflect the empty void in his life that was the place she had once been. He leaned against a wall, still trying to urge his thoughts into coherence but they continued to buzz around in his head like a cloud of angry bees - directionless and agitated. Tomorrow, he knew that he would visit her again but it felt as though tomorrow were not soon enough. And what did it matter if he visited her, anyway? He had no place in her heart, no place in her world filled with happiness and light. He was a dark stain...no, a void in her life, he represented nothing and offered nothing.

A voice whispered to him that it would only be too easy to separate her from Sora if he tried - he could so easily manipulate her into falling into his arms; especially with Sora gone... Another voice, softer, kind, undeniably more human hissed that he couldn't do that, not if he really "loved" her. He shouldn't be so selfish as to steal her away from her happiness.

A soft sigh escaped his lips, a small smile suddenly curving them. He didn't _have _to manipulate her into it; he _could_ simply try to win her over himself. .. Even if he was a bit less kind-hearted and lovable than Sora... Sora wasn't around, _he _was. If he spent enough time with her then maybe... His lips soundless formed the words he wished he could speak aloud to her... Maybe he could make it happen...

No, it wasn't a mere "maybe". He was the Cloaked Schemer, for Kingdom Hearts' sake! He could do absolutely anything he set his mind to, get whatever it was that he wanted - provided he was willing to work at it long enough, and he _was _unbelievably stubborn... He could do it. He knew he could. And that was what he was going to do.


End file.
